sam submits

Saturday, June 26, 2010

We Are Still Alive and Kicking...Visit Us Here

Wow, has it ever been a long time since Sam posted to blog, or me for that matter.

Four months and going strong seems like a memory. It has now been over a year and a half, and Sam and I are about to finally meet in person and spend a few weeks together.

You can follow our D/s Journey on THIS BLOG which is posted to often and is very interesting and fun.

And by the way, my name is really Christina...Marie is my middle name and when Sam and I first met my bdsm name was Miss Marie. A long while back I decided to just be myself on line too...and changed to Miss Christina.

My slut has come a very long way, both as a slut and in trusting me, and we have developed into a very loving Mistress and slut. Come check it out for yourself.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Four months and going strong

Mistress,

So it's almost 4 months together now. It's been so fucking fun. And frustrating, but I come to that little later. I can't say if this been like I expected, because I really didn't expect anything. I had no experience. And I wanted to go and look what happens. And there's been a lot of things changing.
I'm starting to learn more and more what I like and what not. Who and what kind of submissive I am. And still, almost every week I find some new things inside me, or realized that things I though I like weren't really that way.

Like panties and thongs and schoolgirl uniform and so on. Not a sissy thing or transvestism or girly thing. Really, just a fucking slutty thing. Even my pinkish toe nails don't make me feel girly.
And I don't really even think if if just a fetish thing or whatever. Why should I need to know more than that you like me wear those now and then, and that those make me feel even more like slut. Your slut. That's enough for me.

We have tried a little public thing. Not exposing to public, but kinda like hidden public playing. And that made me so fucking nervous. And I found out that I have trouble writing a bout that experience to blog. Not that it was too hard or made me feel bad. it's just me and privacy. But let's say to readers that it include toilets and butt plugs and red lipstick kissed. Hardware store (why the hell I bought those clips), more toilets, fitting room mirror and cum. But thank god, no licking.
Oh and there were also water filled balloons and thongs.

I had my instruction on mp3 player. Mistress recorded them to me before and I was to listen first piece of those at home to know how it starts. And then stop. Do what's said and continue listen next part. It was so much fun. Listening my Mistress's voice. Much better than reading instructions. It also gave me more courage to do things. Almost like you were there with me. Almost, but not quite. I don't think that it can be closer to that without some kind of on line thing. Like some kind of machine where you talk and other people hear it somewhere else. Hey, wait (sorry I couldn't resist). Anyways, it was actually better than talking to phone. I had no way to try to say: no, please do I have to do THIS. So I just did all things. And now I'm starting to be turned on again. I mean more turned on. And that leads to other thing.

I've been giving more and more control away lately. And fucking loved it. It's hard sometimes, and I'm going to break those rules in future. Not in purpose I hope, but by accident. It's just going to happen, I know that I just have suffer consequences then. And this doesn't mean that I take my rules lightly, I just mean that you can't go on without making any errors. And realizing that it won't be devastating to me when I found out that I did something wrong.

Yes, that giving away control. I can't fucking touch my cock anymore without permission. And I'm waiting for my chastity belt to arrive. Why did I give up all that control. And does it work when you're other side of ocean. Well, I love being under your control and while it makes me so fucking frustrated it also makes me feeling incredibly turned on. That's why I works so well. And hey, I'm submissive so it kinda comes naturally. I just want to so fucking much to please you.

My shyness is also fading, but it's not going away completely. Ever. And I love that too. I love that "what, you want me to do that?" rush. Being on web cam is so much easier now, except masturbating on cam. I don't know why. Maybe it's just such an intimate thing to do while someone else is watching. Hard to relax. And if I'm not relax... ...well, think of yourself.

And more about that giving away control. Now I don't have to say what happens. Not to fucking anything. We''ll there are hard limits, and my vanilla time, and if something comes up you have always been very flexible. And you also know when to push and when not. And you don't rush things. And that's a fucking good thing. Everything has come so naturally now. Like me offering more control to you. I just felt like it. Felt like that was what I need. Next step toward something. I don't know to what, but I'm sure it's going to be fun too.

And then there is pain. Even that goes so fucking well. I'm turning toward a pain slut too. And there's that little sadist inside you Mistress. Not a cruel one. As I'm not into extreme pain. But pain nevertheless. Like those clips from hardware store. Fucking alligator teeth clips that are made to use on curtains. They fucking hurts so much on my nipples. Fuucking long 15 minutes. And flicking them may time just before taking them off. Oh god. That was so close to my limit that anything can be. Without going over. And I know that If you hadn't been there on line with me, I just couldn't have kept them on. And there was also one more reason that helped. I knew that if it's too much and I have to take them off you wouldn't be upset. You know that I wouldn't do that unless I really have to. And that made me keeping them on.

So how things are now. Hmm. Nah, just kidding, I don't have to think of it.

Right now I'm one very happy submissive slut.

I love you Mistress.

And thank god I have a Mistress who loves her slut using F word.

sam

P.S. To readers of this blog. As you know I'm not English speaking person. And I ain't a good with writing in Finish either. So writing in English is slow and sometimes quite a painful process for me. And I tried to keep updating this blog very often. But it started to feel like weight on my back. Hard obligation, not something fun to share. So there was this break in writing. But it feels easier now. And I'm not going to think if I will write good or even decent English. I just can't think of that. So you just have suffer with bad sentences and typos and gerally speaking little less 'quality' text. But in exchange I try to keep this blog updated regularly. Don't know yet how often, but not this long breaks anymore.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Anal Training


Mistress,

Even More delayed weekend fun.


~ Anal Training, to be done all in one shot.

This is going to be fun. Lets start this with picture of picture of my ass before training.




~ Fill your ass with your small plug for 30 minutes

No problems with this one. Such a small plug. I just inserted it and went doing other things I had to do.

video

And time was up almost too soon. So I just removed it and that was it. And my ass didn't really felt used after that one.


~ Change that out for your Medium Plug for 1 hour

Back to inserting things in my ass. Medium plug isn't very big either and it went in without any trouble.


video

This should have been very easy hour too. But it wasn't for some reason I felt discomfort from the beginning. Not pain but it wasn't fun either. And that made me nervous. This should have been still more like warm up than actual training. It was a long hour and I had to concentrate to being able to make it. But I wasn't really worried yet. It was only discomfort not pain.

Finally hour was up and no pain when removing plug. And that discomfort disappeared also immediately so there was no reason to quit training.


~ Change that out for your smaller Dildo for 1 hour (fucking slowly 100 times during this time)

I'm so glad that you said smaller, not small. It only about 6 inches, but it not 'small' for me. But not very big either. Inserting it was easy and painless process.


video

But then that discomfort started again. No pain, just discomfort. I can't really explain how it felt. It was little strange feeling, no pain, but feeling I have not had before. First half of the hour went mostly just me concentrating of keeping it in. Or maybe more 'not taking it out'. And worrying about that fucking. I was sure that I just can't do it. That I really can't.

But when time went by and it was getting close to decide whatever I can even try to fuck myself with that dildo, something happened. First I was starting to feel that I might at least try it and little after that I just went to do it. Although I wasn't sure if I can really do it I started it.

And I did it all. It was not fun at all, but this was training and I don't give up easily. But I have to say that I was fucking happy that it wasn't more than just 100 times.


video

Even more uncomfortable feeling after that, but still no pain. Funny. I really don't know what it was.

Removing that dildo was a relief and there was no pain at all.


And my ass was just fine after that part of training.


~ Change that out for your larger Dildo...try your best without harming yourself to get it to fit. When you do, leave it in for 30 minutes and then try slowly fucking yourself with it.

Now this was part I wasn't waiting eagerly. I have tried that larger (about 8 inch) dildo and it was just too big. My confidence wasn't really high at this point, but what else could I do than try it. And somewhere deep in my mind was a little 'what if' feeling. It would been so nice to be able to use that fucking big dildo.

But no. Inserting it hurt. Not like damaging my ass pain, but it really hurt. But I did get it in a little.

video

But that pain was too much for me. It was very clear that my asshole is not ready to be stretched that wide now so I took it out even before full minute has gone. There was too reasons for that, it really felt too big, and pain was also too hard. Too hard that to feel safe (it didn't felt dangerous though) and it also was too severe pain for me. As you know I don't take risks so it didn't feel like having failed in training. It just showed that more training is needed.

And after I took it out all the pain went away immediately. So I decided to try that big monster plug too, but I really knew that I can't get it in. And because of that my heart wasn't really in it anymore. But I did try it but there was that too stretched pain again, so I stopped pushing it before it was all in. And trust me. There's no way I could have that one inside me now. It is simple too wide.

Thank you for this training Mistress.

sam

Friday, February 27, 2009

313 Kisses


Mistress,

Delayed Weekend Fun continues with kisses.










I love posing for you, but I ain't no model and really don't know how to pose well.














Either I'm not a good photographer, those papers are not tilted in reality, my camera just does tricks for me.















But I try my best for you...
























...and love every minute of it.









Thank you Mistress.


sam

Monday, February 23, 2009

5 in2kink's tasks I would like to do

Little update: I had terrible back pain for a week. That's why it's been quiet here.

But now I can continue doing things. Slowly and carefully first, but soon I can leave that behind too. And it's about time. I've been missing being naughty horny slut for you.

Mistress, here's 5 in2kink's task I would like to do. They are in alphabetical order and there are more than these 5 task I would like to perform. But I had to choose something.

1. Extreme Anal Penetration:

Quite obvious reasons. Not so 'extreme' for me, but should be fun.

2. House of Pain - House of pleasure

Anal, spanking, whipping. Do I really need to say anything :)

3. My Sexy Panty Slut

3 days of horny, frustrated sluttynes. Mmmm

4. Tailor made

5. The Seventh Seal

Last two: I love surprises. And that little fear of not knowing what it is going to be.

sam

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Week one of edge training is over (for now)

Mistress,

Frustrating training continues.

Day 6

Dice hates me. 1 try again. Not much to tell about that. Disappointing. From my email to Mistress next day: "P.S. No luck with edge yesterday. But today, I will fucking show that cock who's boss."

Well, Mistress is boss, but when training it should be me, not my cock.

Day 7

Do I even have to say that I throw once again 1. I felt little pissed off with that. But even more I felt frustrated so I had to do little begging by email:

"P.S. Today's dice results are.

Edge thing: 5. This is so fucking weird. One fucking try again. May
I please do something for you to get second try? Please Mistress. I'm
so fucking frustrated that I just want to cum. And two chances are
better than one. Even with risk of two ruined ones. Pretty please. Let
me have second try too. Please. "

Mistress found my begging amusing and I gave two changes. For both Friday and Saturday, but I had to attach 6 clothespins on my body and take pictures.

Note about pics. I took those in living room and after that went back to bedroom for edge training. Could really try to edge and take pictures at same time.

1st try

I fucking show that cock who's boss. What a fucking relief. And pleasure. So nice to have real orgasm. So pleasurable. So something. I loved that moment when I saw that 2 minutes was gone and there was no more holding or hands of too soon thing. Thank you for this orgasm Mistress.

I don't really think that clothespins on balls helped. More like I was so determined and horny and... ...that they didn't hurt so much this time.







2nd try

Back where I started. Clothespins on inner thighs hurt too much. I mean too much to adjust stroking to stay on edge. I would have dropped off if I had tried. So 45 seconds and hands off.
















Day 8

Final day for week one. Although I'm kinda sure that I have to do this first week again. It hasn't been very successful.

Anyways. Not so frustrated today. Maybe it's knowing that this ends today. Even knowing that there is no guarantee that I succeed to cum or that Mistress would let me cum after week is over, it's a relief.




1st try

Weekend fun day so I wear something you sent me all day. Clothespins on nipples and both side of them under cups of that lovely negligee. So nice, but painful feeling. Every movement hurts a little when clothespins move too.

No luck this time. But close. Little less than 25 second to go when i had to give up. Frustration came back. Bloody hell. Now I can't stop thinking that this is week ONE. Oh no.

2nd try

No picture. Don't know what happened. It just wasn't there. But there was clothespins. 1 on every fingertip of left hand and last one on tongue. That last one ruined it. And my orgasm too. Hurted too much and I couldn't concentrate. Ruined one after just 36 seconds. Didn't like to end this so badly, but there was nothing I could do anymore. So that was it. And I can tell you Mistress that clothespins are not good idea when training. Although I had that only successful orgasm while I had clothespins on my balls, I think it was despite of them, not because of them.

What a week this has been. So frustrating and left me so horny. I've been leaking all week. At home, at work, at stores. Everywhere. All the time. Feeling horny, frustrated, satisfied, disappointed an so on. Tell me a feeling and I had it. But in some way I loved this week. Not edging or having ruined orgasms. I don't like those. But I love so much trying new and hard things for you. Well, not trying. This wasn't really trying anything. But trying to learn staying on edge so you could enjoy keeping me there later. That gave me so nice feeling. And I loved it.

Thank you Mistress

I love you.

sam

Spanking (day 17 - back of thighs)


Mistress,

And last one for that day was 45 to back of thighs.
Thank you very much for this ruler test session.
It was painfull, but very much fun.

sam


video

Spanking (day 17 - breasts)


Mistress,

So much fun for one day. 33 this time.

Thank you.

sam



video

Spanking (day 17 - feet)


Mistress,

Here we go again. 39 to bottom of feet. Stings, but don't hurt.

sam


video

Spanking (day 17 - balls)


Mistress,

And next was balls. Your favorite. 38 hits. Fuck, that hurts.

sam




video

Spanking (day 17 - inner thighs)


Mistress,

Next one was 40 hits in my already sore and little bruised inner thighs.
Fun.

Thank you Mistress.

sam

video

Spanking (day 17 - ass)



Mistress,

Testing new ruler as you wanted. First is 43 hits to ass. I found out that I can hit harder than this on ass. Didn't hurt much. Took it easy because I didn't have any experience with that ruler before.

sam


video

Friday, February 13, 2009

Working Fun

Fun day at work.

Mistress,

Wednesday night at work I had a little extra time and only few coworkers there. So I sent an email to Mistress and asked if she wanted me to do something for here there.

And she did. She wanted me to out 13 paper clips somewhere on my body. And I did. Attached them to mu balls and foreskin. Felt a little funny and it felt that few of them got loose almost immediately because they are quite small ones and little difficult to attach to balls. Hmm. Wonder what they will think if I will ask for bigger paper clips. Size that's suitable for balls.

Anyways, they stayed on until day was over and after removing them I just left them on my desk for later use.

And that later use is that chain. After little misunderstanding at morning (I'm not a morning person) I got it right. Attached that chain inside those panties you wanted me to wear at work. And it felt nice. If not thinking few painful moments when that pinch me or felt like dull needle on my balls, it was fun. And it remind me of you most of the time. And how could it not. There I was, having paper clip chain against my genitals inside my thong while working.

Oh and it made me also keep my legs open whole day. Not wide open, but just that much that helped to avoid my jeans pushing them against my genitals in painful way.

Corners.

9+ something AM. (sorry, but as you know, this one was weird morning, took long time to woke up)
Staircase of my building. Nervous.

11:55 am. At work. Toilet. Alone. Easy.

01:10 pm At work. Toilet, stall. Very easy.

01:5? pm At work. Storage room. Nervous.

03:44 pm At work. Corridor. Going out. Very nervous.

4:20 pm Out. Buss stop (the kind with shelter) easy.

5:21 pm At work. Corner near notice board. Nervous.

6:2? On my way to x stopped to store to buy cigarettes. Corner of shelves (thank you for the tip).
Easy.

7:2? pm X. Stall at toilet. Easy.

21:22 pm Back at work. Alone. Conference room. Very easy.

21:4? pm. On my way out. Empty lounge. Easy.

21:5? pm. Buss stop again. Little nervous.

22:3? pm. Same place where this started. Easy and relief.

I don't know if you have noticed on pictures or when I'm on cam that i don't wear wrist watch.
That makes those times little imprecise sometime.

It was fun. New kind of fun for me. Little nervous one too. But fun.

Thank you Mistress.

sam